M-League Is Not Football, But It Might Be Petanque

We guessed it right; the Malaysia vs. UAE match is one prime example of good attacking football, five goals scored in total. Definitely the lads played it as the gaffer wished, all-out offensive. Our potent strikers have shown their acute goal-scoring sense, yes?

But wait, a quick look on the goal scorer list did not mention any of our Harimau Malaya squad. So it is the same chapter again, the gaffer said we are going on the offensive, and UAE surely thanks us for that as they net five against nothing.

The Ministry is not amazed by that.

However the most shocking revelation of all came from the gaffer himself during the post match conference. “The M-League is not football,” said B Sathianathan. No, we are not shocked with the statement ‘M-League is not football’, because we already knew that many years ago. What is shocking to us is why on earth did Sathia wasted the media time during such conference to state the obvious fact?

That ‘M-League is not football’ is a well known fact, but the dying question is, what freaking sport is M-League attached to?

No one can give the definite answer. The Ministry attempted to conduct a study on this but then our scope of power is limited to only football matter. The fact that ‘M-League is not football’ means that it is beyond our ministerial jurisdiction.

So we shall leave that to the Ministry of Petanque, if there is any or to whatever Ministry dares to lay their claim on the M-League.

Meanwhile at Wisma FAM in Kelana Jaya, beacon of Malaysian football, the FA president has called for an executive council meeting on 31st January. According to FAM general secretary Azzuddin Ahmad, the exco would discuss the next course of action following the national team’s latest mortification.

“The FAM view seriously the performance of the national team and we are going to discuss all aspects, including regarding the coach and players,” said Azzuddin. The Ministry’s follow-up question on whether they would discuss the issue of poor administration by the FAM, however remain unheeded.

The FAM also declined to reveal what is on the menu that is going to be serve during the executive council meeting, but reliable sources indicate that it will be the usual ‘dining of the royalties’ and most of the executive council members are already salivating on such grandeur banquet.

We can only be in awe.

Captain Norhafiz To The Rescue, As Sathia Prepares to Assault The Emirates

It’s a good thing that the Kaka – Manchester City deal is over. But will tonight’s game draw any interest from those in power back at Abu Dhabi?

Most likely no, as the Ministry believe Sheikh Mansour and Sheikh Khalifa are now busy going through the list of other football prodigies to join their Arab domain at Manchester. We can only hope they won’t choose to buy one Masal Bugduv.

However in a country where football is not about getting paid GBP500,000 a week but rather not receiving any payment at all for a few months, tonight’s game can either be a moment to cherish or just another same instalment of Malaysian football.

The Harimau Malaya squad will be up against United Arab Emirates, 8.45pm at the KLFA Cheras Stadium. Both teams are drawn in the Group C of Asian Cup 2011 qualifying stage along with Uzbekistan.

Norhafiz Zamani (KL Plus) has been given the honour to wear the captain’s armband, in absence of injured regular captain Shukor Adan (Selangor). Also not able to make it tonight are Norshahrul Idlan (UPB-MyTeam) and Nizaruddin Yusof (Perlis).

“It is not a fantastic option to be in for sure as we were so hopeful that Shukor could put the knee injury behind him and be ready in time for the match against the UAE,” said national coach B Sathianathan, sounding rather depressing.

But the gaffer tried to inject some positive mood later, and perhaps bit of motivation to the rest of the squad. “Worried? Not at all!”

“Considering the opposition and also our current situation, I don’t think it is in our interest to play defensively,” he added, much to the amusement of those at the Ministry.

Not trying to be pessimistic ourselves, we decided to put faith in the line-up of our potent strikers to wreak havoc in UAE’s defence tonight. The last time Malaysia and UAE met, the rich Arab Sheikhs won 3-1.

Just to be on the safer side, we still put our money on UAE to win tonight.

Don’t blame us, blame the economic recession!

Moldova's Best Kept Secret Not So Special After All

What? No Roy Race in the list? You must be kidding!

Whoever gets the copy of New Strait Times (NST) football pull out last Saturday would have notice their centrespread article, Football’s Top 50 Rising Star. Now isn’t that a nicely placed article bearing in mind the ongoing January transfer window?

Among the usual suspects like Karim Benzema and David Silva is one Masal Bugduv, 16 years old Moldovan striker playing for local club Olimpia Balti. Rumours on the net claimed that the only difference between Bugduv and Zidane is the former have more hair than the latter.

Sweet. Hence 30th place Bugduv is expected to make a move to any top European clubs within the next 12 months and most likely be playing Champions League football next season.

But only if the eager scouts manage to locate him, in flesh. As the guy at Soccerlens found out, Masal Bugduv is as real as Roy Race, your favourite footie comic’s hero.

Let’s not torch the NST office as yet, though. The top 50 listing was originally compiled by The Times UK and was reprinted in Malaysia. But that’s bad enough as I’ve wasted Sabah’s price of RM1.80 for a copy of NST to read the same list available on the net plus one fictional player in it.

The fact that Times UK fell for this hoax or prank is damning proof of how gullible the media can be at the slightest mention of ‘new football prodigy to join (insert any EPL’s Big Four) for GBP15 million’.

No Such Thing As Professional Here

Caceres: Out of cash

Many years ago, talented South American or African unable to make it in Europe can always turn to the Malaysian league to provide their service and earn decent income. Not anymore, as former Chilean trio of Perak imports has discovered.

Carlos Caceres, Jorge Nunoz and Mario Bario have recently written to Fifa, seeking the football governing body assistance to help claim total of USD54,000 owing to them by the Perak FA.

The trio claimed they had also written to FAM four months ago but have not heard anything since then. Little did they know that the FAM was busy with their brainstorming session, general meeting and serious decision making process on how they could further tear down Malaysian football.

The players resort to press the panic button after finding out that Perak FA president, Nizar Jamaluddin recently made a remark that “former players who have not been paid for five to six months will have to wait”.

“How can a professional association treat players like this?” said the player, apparently unaware that there is no such thing as professional association in Malaysia.

(Photo credit)